"What self-respecting director keeps beautiful women off the toilet?"

Movie:
Rating:


Review: "Dear God! Awful! I had hopes, and they were dashed. Horribly cast; inane, cliche plot and script; the translated subtitles were even inaccurate. Penelope Cruz is gorgeous, and the actresses who played her sister and her daughter were homely and did not remeotely resemble Ms. Cruz. But for the cute scene with Penelope on the toilet, I'd have given it ZERO stars. What a waste..."

How it misses the point: Almodovar’s “Volver” is about how three generations of women react to corpses and ghosts. Like most of Almodovar’s work, the movie defies easy description because of abrupt tone shifts in addition to the juxtaposition of surrealism and melodrama. His movies flaunt clichés, a fact which undermines the credibility of the reviewer, who seems to wish that “Volver” was more pornographic.

What hopes did the above reviewer have? More scenes of Penelope Cruz on the toilet? More women resembling her? Perhaps the reviewer wanted the movie to devolve into a freaky incest-ridden lesbian love fest. Either way, without properly modulated expectations, the review misses the point. He should just rent “Abre los ojos” and watch Penelope’s topless scene over and over again.

And for the record, Netflix doesn’t allow users to give viewers zero stars.